🧘♀️ 14 The Body Keeps The Score
Ever feel like your body’s got its own secret filing cabinet, tucked away somewhere, just hoarding all the feels? Turns out, it totally does. Bessel van der Kolk’s legendary book, “The Body Keeps The Score,” isn’t just a heavy read; it’s a massive “aha!” moment for anyone who’s ever wondered why they react the way they do, or why some old ache flares up when stress hits. It’s basically telling us our bodies are way smarter, and way more involved, in our emotional lives than we often give them credit for.
This isn’t just theory, folks. It’s a roadmap for connecting with your inner self, healing old wounds, and generally living a more integrated, less “what just happened?!” kind of life. Ready to decode your body’s wisdom? Let’s dive in.
1. Tune into Your Internal GPS
Your body is constantly sending signals, a kind of internal GPS guiding you through life. Most of us, though, are too busy trying to find parking to actually listen. This idea is all about dialing into those subtle cues, the ones that tell you something’s off long before your brain catches up.
Key points: Practice noticing tension, warmth, tingling, or even a sudden stomach flip. These aren’t random; they’re your body’s way of communicating.
Pro tip: Set a few alarms throughout the day for a quick “body check-in.” Just ask, “What am I feeling right now, and where in my body?” This simple practice builds your interoception, making you a pro at understanding your own internal language.
2. Breathe Like You Mean It
We breathe without thinking, right? But purposeful breathwork is like hitting the reset button on your nervous system. It’s a direct line to calming the chaos when your body feels stuck in fight-or-flight mode from past experiences.
Key points: Explore techniques like box breathing or diaphragmatic breathing. These aren’t just for yogis; they’re tools for immediate self-regulation.
Pro tip: When you feel stress creeping in, try extending your exhale. A longer exhale signals to your body that you’re safe, not running from a saber-toothed tiger. Your breath is your most accessible superpower for bringing your body back to balance.
3. Move Your Magnificent Self
Trauma, stress, and all the things our bodies keep score of often manifest as physical rigidity or a sense of being “stuck.” Movement is the antidote, literally helping to release stored energy and emotion.
Key points: Think beyond the gym. Dance like no one’s watching (because they probably aren’t), shake out your limbs, or just stretch intuitively. The goal is to feel your body, not just work it.
Pro tip: Put on your favorite pump-up song and just let your body move however it wants for three minutes. No rules, just release. This active release helps process emotions that words often miss, giving your body a voice.
4. Ground Yourself in the Now
When the body holds onto the past, it can feel like you’re constantly floating outside of the present moment. Grounding techniques help anchor you firmly back into reality, making your body feel safe and present.
Key points: Focus on your senses: what do you see, hear, smell, taste, touch? Feel your feet on the floor, the texture of your clothes, the temperature of the air.
Pro tip: Keep a smooth, cool stone in your pocket. When you feel overwhelmed, hold it, focus on its weight and temperature, and let it bring you back. These small acts create a sense of stability, reassuring your body that it’s here, now, and okay.
5. Journal Your Body’s Story
Your mind might be good at rationalizing, but your body often speaks in sensations and images. Journaling isn’t just for thoughts; it’s a powerful way to document what your body is experiencing, giving those unspoken feelings a voice.
Key points: Try “free writing” about how your body feels today. Don’t edit, just let it flow. You might discover connections between physical sensations and past events or current emotions.
Pro tip: Draw or doodle your body’s sensations instead of just writing. Sometimes a picture truly is worth a thousand unsaid words. This practice externalizes internal experiences, making them easier to process and understand.
6. Curate Your Sanctuary
Your environment profoundly impacts your nervous system. A chaotic space can keep your body on edge, while a calm one signals safety and allows for restoration. Creating a personal sanctuary is about intentional self-care.
Key points: Declutter a small corner, add soft lighting, comforting textures, or scents that make you feel relaxed. Make it a space where your body can truly unwind.
Pro tip: Think of your sanctuary as a “recharge station” for your nervous system. Make it a tech-free zone for at least part of the day. This dedicated space helps your body associate certain surroundings with peace and security.
7. Eat with Intention
Food isn’t just fuel; it’s information for your body. The way you eat, not just what you eat, can either amplify stress or promote a sense of calm and well-being. Mindful eating is a powerful tool for body awareness.
Key points: Pay attention to your body’s hunger and fullness cues. Notice how different foods make you feel physically and emotionally. Slow down, savor, and truly taste your meals.
Pro tip: Before eating, take three deep breaths to shift your body into a “rest and digest” state. It makes a huge difference. This intentional approach helps your body feel nourished and respected, rather than just fed.
8. Connect with Your Tribe
Humans are wired for connection. Isolation can exacerbate feelings of unsafety, while genuine, supportive relationships provide co-regulation and a sense of belonging. Your body literally feels safer when it’s with trusted others.
Key points: Prioritize spending time with people who make you feel seen, heard, and valued. Engage in activities that foster genuine connection, not just surface-level interaction.
Pro tip: Practice a simple, authentic hug with someone you trust. The oxytocin release is real, and your body will thank you. Strong social bonds are a fundamental component of nervous system regulation and healing.
9. Establish Your Boundaries
Your body “keeps the score” of every time your boundaries were crossed or ignored. Learning to set and enforce healthy boundaries is about reclaiming your personal space and telling your body, “I’ve got you.”
Key points: Understand your limits – physical, emotional, and energetic. Communicate them clearly and kindly. It’s okay to say “no” without guilt.
Pro tip: Start small. Practice saying “no” to minor requests that don’t truly serve you, and notice how it feels in your body. Clear boundaries create a sense of safety and respect, both for yourself and in your relationships.
10. Embrace Nature’s Nurture
Spending time in nature is like a reset button for your entire system. The sights, sounds, and smells of the natural world have a calming effect on the nervous system, reminding your body of its primal connection to the earth.
Key points: Get outside regularly, even if it’s just for a few minutes. Walk barefoot on grass, sit by a tree, or simply observe the clouds.
Pro tip: Practice “forest bathing” – mindfully engaging all your senses with your natural surroundings, without distraction. Nature provides a gentle, powerful way to soothe the body and mind, promoting a sense of peace.
11. Express Yourself Creatively
When words fail, art speaks. Creative expression offers a non-verbal outlet for emotions and experiences that might be too overwhelming or complex to articulate otherwise. Your body stores these feelings, and art helps release them.
Key points: Paint, draw, write poetry, sing, play an instrument, or even just doodle. The process is more important than the outcome; it’s about giving form to the formless.
Pro tip: Don’t worry about being “good” at art. The goal is catharsis and expression, not a gallery showing. This outlet allows your body to discharge pent-up energy and communicate its hidden stories.
12. Prioritize Rest and Repair
Sleep isn’t just downtime; it’s prime time for your body to repair, integrate experiences, and regulate hormones. Chronic sleep deprivation keeps your nervous system on high alert, making it harder for your body to heal and feel safe.
Key points: Establish a consistent sleep schedule, create a dark and cool sleep environment, and wind down with relaxing activities before bed.
Pro tip: Try to avoid screens at least an hour before bed. Blue light messes with your body’s natural melatonin production. Giving your body adequate rest is non-negotiable for its overall well-being and ability to process stress.
13. Practice Radical Self-Compassion
Our bodies often internalize harsh self-criticism. Learning to treat yourself with kindness, understanding, and acceptance is a profound act of healing. It tells your body it’s safe to be exactly as it is, flaws and all.
Key points: Speak to yourself as you would a dear friend. Acknowledge your struggles without judgment. Offer yourself comfort and reassurance during difficult moments.
Pro tip: Place a hand over your heart when you’re feeling down and offer yourself a gentle, compassionate phrase like, “This is hard, and I’m here for you.” This internal warmth helps soothe your nervous system and foster a sense of inner safety.
14. Seek Professional Guidance
Sometimes, the body holds onto things that are too big or too complex to navigate alone. Engaging with a trauma-informed therapist or bodyworker can provide invaluable support and tools for profound healing. You don’t have to carry it all by yourself.
Key points: Look for practitioners specializing in somatic experiencing, EMDR, or other body-centered therapies. They understand how the body stores trauma and can guide you through its release.
Pro tip: Don’t be afraid to “shop around” for a therapist. Finding the right fit for you and your body is crucial for effective healing. A skilled professional can help your body safely process and integrate past experiences, leading to lasting change.
Conclusion
So, there you have it. Your body isn’t just a vehicle for your brain; it’s a living, breathing, incredibly wise historian. It keeps the score, yes, but it also holds the keys to its own healing. By tuning in, moving with intention, and creating spaces of safety, you’re not just reading a book; you’re writing a whole new, much kinder chapter for your magnificent self. Listen up, because the conversation is always happening.
